In the shadows of Disney's latest cinematic venture, a rather unexpected phantasmal shape appears to be creating more shock and awe than its 998 fellow apparitions. In Justin Simien's high-budget rendition of the famed Disney park haunt, the "Haunted Mansion," a unique specter has sparked a curious debate: Is there a ghostly penis candle? This spectral phenomenon was first brought to my attention during a late-night text from an editor, raising the baffling question amidst my serene binge of "Sweet Magnolias." As a seasoned journalist covering the vibrant visual gags of RuPaul's Drag Race, I found myself diving headfirst into the trailer, eager to confirm this eerie intrigue.
To my surprise, within the movie's spine-chilling premise, there it was. Our protagonist, Ben, played by LaKeith Stanfield - a paranormal guide aiding a single mother in exorcising her ghost-ridden residence - stood gripping a phantasmal phallus-shaped candle.
The scene unfolds within the estate modeled after the last park structure that Walt Disney worked on before his passing.
Unveiling the Phantasmal Phallus
The moment that cannot be unseen occurs midway through the film. Ben faces the menacing Hatbox Ghost, masterfully portrayed by Jared Leto, a fan-favorite character lifted straight from the Disneyland ride.
The hefty candle Ben clutches becomes suddenly possessed, sprouting a tiny mouth, two terrified eyes, and a wax-melt texture dribbling down the side that suggests a rather unholy image. The question now haunting fans worldwide: Is there a ghostly member skulking the corridors of Gracey Manor? The film already requires us to suspend disbelief in numerous ways, so why not entertain this eerie thought? Given the unconventional melting pattern and the fans' knack for finding adult-oriented imagery in Disney films, the consensus seems to affirm this ghostly phallus as a part of the Haunted Mansion's lore.
As the film unveils its spectral secrets, we learn about the gruesome earthly fate of the Hatbox Ghost - decapitation. The paradox arises: Why does his spectral form still boast a complete skull? Yet if the film dares to include a blazing phallus, it might as well twist the laws of the afterlife.
Meanwhile, Tiffany Haddish's presence as a psychic able to communicate with the dead brings an unexpected comedic angle to this chilling tale. Our protagonist Ben first encounters the notorious candle during astral projection, right after he uncovers the entrance to a secret seance room.
Does Haddish's character, Harriet, know about this phallic specter? Perhaps she's the one who cunningly planted it there, a symbolic easter egg for Ben to discover amidst his mourning. Despite its PG-13 rating, the film still finds ways to hint towards adult themes, creating a complex tapestry of humor, horror, and mystery.
Though the Haunted Mansion may not scare you to your core, it promises to etch one hauntingly phallic image in your mind: that of the memorable ghostly penis candle.