Simon Cowell: Son Eric 'Definitely' Restored My Joy After Parents' Death

Simon Cowell opens up on podcast about personal revival

by Zain ul Abedin
Simon Cowell: Son Eric 'Definitely' Restored My Joy After Parents' Death
© Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Simon Cowell candidly opened up about a pivotal moment in his life during an appearance on "The Diary Of A CEO" podcast. At 64, the 'America's Got Talent' judge delved into his struggles following the deaths of his parents, describing a time when he felt engulfed by a "downward spiral." His father, Eric, passed away in 1999, followed by his mother, Julie, 16 years later.

This sequence of loss plunged Cowell into deep despair. “I was on a downward spiral after losing my mum. It felt like the finality of losing both parents. Suddenly, all material things lost their meaning,” Cowell explained.

He described his life at that time as filled with relentless work, transforming into a self-described "vampire," where he would work late into the night and wake up in the mid-afternoon, addicted to the intensity of such a lifestyle.

Despite his professional success, Cowell admitted to feeling profoundly unhappy, noting, "I was very successful, but I wasn’t happy. I really, really wasn’t happy”. It was during this phase that Cowell learned about his fiancée Lauren Silverman's pregnancy, which he described as a transformative moment that "changed everything" in his life.

Eric's Transformative Impact

“The news of Lauren being pregnant made me happy again. It was a profound shift that brought joy back into my life," Cowell shared. He reminisced about watching "The Jungle Book" with his son, Eric, and the joy that moment brought, reigniting fond memories of his own childhood.

When podcast host Steven Bartlett asked if his son Eric had "saved him," Cowell affirmed without hesitation, "Without question. I had reached a point where nothing mattered, and I barely remember anything from that period." He also revealed the emotional toll of maintaining a public persona while suffering internally, describing feeling like "a clown" as he was "dying inside." Reflecting on his darkest days, Cowell expressed a relatable depth of despair, where life itself seemed inconsequential.

"I wasn’t thinking about taking my own life, but if something terrible happened, it wouldn’t bother me," he admitted. In a lighter moment, speaking to PEOPLE last year, Cowell highlighted how he enjoys watching his son Eric get excited during live AGT tapings.

"He's a great barometer. If he's having a good time, that's the best thing. It's all unfiltered joy with kids," he noted.

Simon Cowell