John Oliver Declares Eurovision's Windows95man as His Champion

Eurovision 2023 unveils surprising acts and unexpected outcomes

by Zain ul Abedin
John Oliver Declares Eurovision's Windows95man as His Champion
© Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

In a remarkable segment of "Last Week Tonight," John Oliver dove into the spectacular world of the Eurovision Song Contest, lavishing praise on Finland's quirky entrant, Windows95man. Describing him as his "absolute favorite," Oliver was captivated by Windows95man's unique performance of “No Rules!” penned by the talented trio Henri Piispanen, Jussi Roine, and Teemu Keisteri.

The act was nothing short of theatrical, with Windows95man making a grand entrance from an egg-shaped enclosure, clad in denim and sporting a Windows95 logo crop top and cap. Oliver’s enthusiasm was palpable as he rated the performance a perfect "Fourteen thousand out of ten" after showing a clip of the lively stage act.

Windows95man, characterized by his flowing blonde hair and what Oliver referred to as "pervert glasses," emerged from his denim cocoon in a scene reminiscent of a modern, edgy Botticelli’s "Birth of Venus." In a humorous twist, Oliver quipped, "It’s like Botticelli's Birth of Venus, only this time it’s actually good."

Windows95man's Dramatic Win

The performance continued with a flair for the dramatic as Windows95man, initially appearing without shorts, navigated the stage, his modesty humorously maintained by strategic coverage.

The climax involved his denim shorts descending from above amidst a dazzling burst of sparks - a spectacle that truly captivated the audience. Oliver likened the act to "an extended Austin Powers bit," emphasizing the quirky and unconventional nature of the performance.

Despite a lukewarm reception from the judges, who ranked him last, Windows95man received overwhelming public support, securing his victory by a significant margin. Celebrating Finland’s knack for recognizing stars, Oliver remarked, "The people of Finland are naturals at ski jumping, sauna and knowing a f***ing star when they see one." He passionately concluded his segment by dismissing all other music forms, humorously proclaiming, "F*** all other music, it is dead to me now.

I don’t know whether he won Eurovision or not but to quote a great poet… ‘I don’t care what’s wrong or right it’s how I live my life,’ and that is my champion right there." While Switzerland took home the Eurovision trophy this year in Malmo, Sweden, with Nemo scoring 591 points for “The Code,” and despite the impressive performances by Croatia and Ukraine, Oliver’s spotlight remained firmly on the unforgettable Windows95man, proving that sometimes, public adoration transcends conventional rankings and critiques.